The older I get, the less I can see and hear (no joke), but somehow, life grows ever more in focus. When I was younger, believing myself a ¨big kid¨, there were so many intricacies of life that I misinterpreted. I had unrealistically high expectations for the adults around me, and I was frustrated when their actions didn´t necessarily fit into my tiny lens for life.
For a long time, deep in the arrogance of young maturity (ha!), I misunderstood one of the most amazing people this world has offered us: my grandmother. I never asked her enough about her past to understand her the way I should have, and I let my own bitterness over losing grandpa eclipse my empathy.
I should have been better and held my-supposedly-adult-self to the same standards that I held others. I should have listened, asked, and wondered. I should have reminded her every day that I loved her, and that even though I couldn´t grasp everything that went on inside her head and heart, I was (and always will be) grateful for how much she loved me.
I should have done all of that. I didn´t. But, she understood that I was young and dumb, and eventually I would figure it out. It´s a
ll part of the life experience; she would say.
Thank you for that, Baca; for accepting me as I was. Thank you for teaching us to love each other and life without holding back. Thank you for showing us how to enjoy every second of every day, however the hell we want to. Thank you for being that voice in my head, even now, that tells me;
¨everything in life is an experience¨. Thank you for making me understand what a beautiful soul looks like.
So, Happy Birthday, Baca! I´m sorry it´s late and I still haven´t gotten my shit together, but I´m trying.
I love you.
You are always with me.